Defending the Malaysian man

October 24, 2004

Last week several Malaysian women were interviewed on why they preferred Mat Salleh (foreign) men over Malaysians. We received some spirited responses.

We'e not inferior

I think there is a degree of truth to what the locals say about SPGs being 'gold-diggers.'

Caucasians who can afford to date them have above average salaries. Couple this with an imposing figure and you have a man coveted by Sarong Party Girls (SPG's).

Put a Malaysian man in his shoes, loaded up with money and the SPGs will go after him as well.

Janet said that Malaysian men tend to be more critical whereas Caucasian men treat her like an equal.

Look at it from another angle, does this not show that Malaysian men are more honest with their opinions? I wouldn't find a person who masquerades his comments particularly pleasant to date.

Then there is Linda who thinks that Malaysian men are less affectionate in public. However, she needs to understand that we were not brought up to show public affection.

My opinion is, Malaysian men are in no way inferior. Most SPGs are self-admittedly 'Westernised.' Malaysian men should not westernise themselves just to be accepted. I believe that there are Eastern women who still find our values interesting.

Asian men just do things differently

Just two weeks ago, I was reading some stories on (old) Malaysian men taking mail-order-brides from Vietnam. With What we like about them, I thought this was the women striking back.

But, as I read the article, I didn't like what I was hearing (must be the critical Malaysian male in me).

I'm not saying that there are no crooks among us - just look at the recent headlines, but there is still some talent in Malaysian men.

I do agree that you shouldn't be intimidated just because a girl can identify Vivaldi's Four Seasons. How often do we play name that tune in Malaysia anyway. The poor guy shouldn't have asked the question, if he didn't know the answer.

But there were other things that I didn't agree with, like kind Paul helping women struggling with heavy packages.

Ladies, what would you do if an unknown Malaysian man were to try to help you with your heavy packages? All, I can say is that I don't think I'd be the guy who tries to do that!

But to quote Anthony Robbins (yes, I am Westernised too): "Life's not a competition. Life's a game."

So, remember ladies if you don't support the local team, there's no use playing the game. Just ask any French or Italian woman. - Sleepless in KL

Let me tell you why

I agree with the argument that Western men are more understanding and interested in the woman and less critical. However it is wrong to say all Malaysian men are like that.

If Western men are so good, why have they not found their soul mate in whichever country they come from? The truth is they find the feminine charm and grace of Asian women missing from their Western counterparts.

These are people who no longer fit into society, and move over here for a new life.

I think one has the right to choose whomever one likes as a life partner.- Not a mommy's boy

Mine is loving & caring

I've been married for 13 years, going on 14, to a Mat Salleh. I wouldn't have married an Asian. (Or maybe no Asian man would have me!) After all these years, I have learnt that Mat Salleh men are:

more understanding

more demonstrative

communicate freely (though sometimes I find it hard to talk about things being an Asian!)

They don't care if youe not a ravishing beauty (by that I mean big boobs, big bum, etc). Beauty comes in various forms. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, ya? I am tiny (less than 1.5m tall).

Though I am not a great achiever, he's always proud of me, so much so, I feel a little embarrassed sometimes!

He always says 'thank you' after a meal! I can't imagine an Asian man saying that to me! And he doesn't mind bringing in the washing.

Would an Asian man do that? No way! These are some of the points I can think of.

Maybe, somebody else would like to add on? - Ann Morrissey

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