The girl was a friend of the offender, which gave the defence ample opportunity
to argue that it was sex by consent.
But Judge R K Maheshwari took a firm stand saying, "Merely being friendly (with
Mohanty) and having gone with him to Bikaner, Alwar... didn't mean she
consented to having sex."
Last month in a shocking incident in Mumbai, a 15-year-old girl was raped by
her friends, some teenaged boys. She has alleged that one of the accused had
invited her for his sister's birthday party at his residence in Mira Road. But
when she arrived there, only three of his friends were present and they drugged
her.
These are two recent cases. There have been other rape incidents across the
country where the abuser has been a friend of the victim.
Remember 24-year-old Bijal Joshi's rape case and her subsequent suicide that
rocked Ahmedabad some time ago? Bijal was raped by her lover and five others on
New Year's eve.
All such rape incidents highlight an issue that has been simmering for a while
now - can't a woman just be friends with a man? Why do friendly gestures get
misconstrued?
For that matter, even if there's a bit of teasing bordering on flirtation, does
it have to end up in bed?
"It's ridiculous how some men think,"says Nitya Raut, a 20-yearold collegian.
"Men have no sense of friendship or mild flirting at all. It boils down
straight to getting physical!"
Kanika, a 23-year-old computer programmer, agrees, "If a girl has a drink, the
guys think she's available. And these are guys who know her well!
Of course, we can't generalise, but there are some of these specimens
around!"Adds her colleague Renita James, "Some decades ago you wouldn't find a
girl and a guy having much interaction.
Today, you have girls, even actresses, very open about their relationships.
Times have changed. These kind of rape incidents, where a friend is the
perpetrator, are appalling.
And even if a girl shows all signs of interest, she still may not be willing to
go all the way."The main issue is that men and women perceive things
differently, say experts.
And in most of these cases the perpetrators are either teenagers or young men
in their 20s or early 30s. "A girl might not suspect anything.
The guy on the other hand has different ideas,"says psychiatrist Dr Anjali
Chhabria. There are a lot of misconceptions that boys and young men have, she
adds.
"Firstly, the line 'hasi to fasi', where if a girl smiles, they think she is
interested. Some even think she's willing to go all the way.
Secondly, there's a misconception that a woman will never make the first move
and basically the man has to initiate things, even if it means forcing her into
it.
Thirdly, it is natural for sex to happen, especially if she has accompanied you
to some place, either home or a hotel and that the girl is too shy to
communicate,"she says.
Misconceptions apart, there are some men who communicate their emotions through
physical intimacy. Also, they believe the woman will not complain and will
actually consent in the course of the act.
There is no fear of repercussion, says Chhabria. So, what do the boys have to
say? "It's really sad that because of some perverts, all are blamed,"says
25-year-old Karun Palat, an engineer.
He has a few suggestions: "No doubt men and women think and perceive things
differently, after all, aren't men from Mars and women from Venus? But, a girl
should be smart and understand the guy's intention.
If he's just a good friend, there's no question of any sparks. If he's flirting
with the girl, she has to clearly set the boundaries. There has to be
communication in these matters. And if it's a guy who's the kind to get drunk
and misbehave, she should just dump him."
If dealing with date rape is the first step forward in the development of rape
law, let's hope the day is not far ahead when the issue of marital rape will
also be dealt with equally forcefully.
"The Alwar judgement is in tune with strides being made in society. The law is
always a little behind social trends, always trying to keep pace. Let's hope
for further strides now!"says a legal expert.
