"Ok, he's gone, we can leave," I whispered.
The front gate was locked. My mom climbed over first, I handed her my little
brother and sister before climbing over myself.
Please, Allah, do not let anyone see us, I prayed.
An unmarked car was in front of the house watching and waiting to cut off
anyone who followed us. Next door our neighbors from the United Nations were
providing vigilance as well. I expected at any moment to see one of my uncles
come running out and drag us back into the house. But no one came.
We turned into an alley down the street; another unmarked car was parked there.
A man and woman sat in front.
The rear passenger door opened, "Hi there!"
The thick American accent shocked me for a minute. I stood there waiting,
unsure what to do next.
"Go on, get in," my mom said.
As we got in, we were told to crouch in the backseat. Despite the car's tinted
windows they wanted to ensure we were not identified as we drove to the
airport. The plane had been delayed at the airport waiting for us to board.
Stay calm, I told myself. Breathe.
Sounds like the premise to a Lifetime movie - Escaping Pakistan, it would be
called. Films such as Not Without My Daughter come to mind, as do the stories
of numerous women appearing on TV magazine shows such as 20/20 and 60 Minutes.
More often than not, these tales involve Islam as a motive. As Muslims, we are
quick to dismiss these accounts as Western propaganda against Islam, for they
stir up the most degrading stereotypes about the Muslim world, Islamic civil
rights and, in particular, women's rights in the Islamic world. (After all, we
couldn't possibly have extremists in our culture.)
Unfortunately, the story is all too true for many women like my mother. The
husband, oftentimes after experiencing a "religious re-awakening," fearing his
children are growing up as kafirs in the West, will take the wife and family to
his homeland on a trip and keep them, literally, as hostages. Any resistance
from the wife is handled with physical abuse. In other instances, in the middle
of a custody battle, the husband will take the children to his native country.
Most of these children never return.
My mother had both cases happen to her. Initially my father, a newly "reborn"
Muslim, took us - my mother, sister, brother and I - to Pakistan under the
pretense that we were going to be lost to American culture. While he returned
to the U.S. we were kept in my grandparents' house in Islamabad - all four of
us in one room. Our money and passports were taken away. We were not allowed to
leave the house. Though we managed to escape Pakistan after four years, when we
returned my father took my younger siblings back to Pakistan while my mother
was filing for custody.
Each year there are more than 200,000 cases of parental abduction in the United
States. As of May 2003, the U.S. State Department cited 904 known unresolved
cases of international parental kidnapping. (It must be noted, that a case is
considered closed when a foreign government denies the request to return the
children.) At least a quarter of these cases were estimated to have taken place
in Islamic nations. Statistics of cases of women trapped with their children
overseas are more difficult to determine simply because these women are treated
as captives by their husbands and many of these countries have a chronic
history of oppressing women. In addition, they are regarded as domestic
disputes and go unreported.
In 1988 United States signed The Hague Convention on the Civil Aspects of
International Child Abduction, under which the United States and 48 other
signatories have agreed to "secure the prompt return of children wrongfully
removed to or retained in" another member country, and "to ensure that rights
of custody are effectively respected." Presently no Islamic country has signed
the treaty except for Turkey and Bosnia. Five years after The Hague, Congress
passed the International Parental Kidnapping Crime Act, making the removal or
retention of a child outside of the United States a federal offense if done in
violation of a custody order. This enables the government to seek extradition
of the parent in any country. Despite the legal measures available here in the
U.S., the State Department maintains that there is little the government can do
to help legally. In its handbook for parents of internationally abducted
children the State Department says, "the deprived parent, must direct the
search and recovery operation," and, "child-custody disputes remain
fundamentally private legal matters between the parents involved, over which
the Department of State has no jurisdiction." It also recommends that if the
children are young enough and have resided with the other parent for over six
months abroad, it is in the best interest of the child to remain with that
parent.
On the other end, speaking specifically on Muslim countries, the disturbing
fact is the father's actions can be upheld by law and religious culture. In
patriarchal societies such as Pakistan and Saudi Arabia, for example, the
father has absolute authority over his wife and children's lives in accordance
with Islamic law. The children are automatically viewed as citizens based on
their father's nationality and can be prevented from leaving the country
without his permission. Saudi law, in particular, forbids women from traveling
without a male guardian. Even if divorce is granted the woman may have
difficulty getting custody of the children in accordance to Hanafi law, which
states children beyond the age of seven should reside with the father. (It must
be stated, however, that Pakistan law differs from Saudi law, as the Pakistani
legal system does provide for the best interests of the child, under the Ward
Act of 1890.) If the mother is a foreign national the chances of her receiving
custody lessen, and if she is a non-Muslim the chances of her being granted
custody in a Muslim nation are almost nil. Women trapped in these situations
usually do not have any legal resources available and face either succumbing to
the wishes of their husband or facing his wrath and losing their children.
Mothers who attempt to regain custody of their children in these countries even
with the support of The Hague or U.S. law suffer to no avail. The children are
usually never returned.
In our case, when my father took my brother and sister back to Pakistan, my
mother gained custody of the two of them here in the States. My father returned
to the U.S. on his own just shy of six months later and was promptly arrested
at the airport. He was detained in U.S. custody until my siblings were brought
back.
Allhumdulillah, we were one of the fortunate ones. Not only were we able to
escape my father's family in Pakistan, my brother and sister were able to
return to my mother. For thousands of other women and children currently being
held against their will under what is claimed to be Islam this is not the case.
Their voices need to be heard. We can no longer deny that a problem exists nor
casually wave off the stories we hear as American media propaganda as that only
allows this appalling practice to continue. The weaknesses in the U.S. and
international legal abilities to help these women are only furthered by the men
in our society who insist on enforcing their "Islam," and our silence supports
their actions.
A future International Law and Islamic Studies student, Nadia Mohammad is
currently the Managing Editor for the American Muslim Council website and an
editor for the e-zine, Divanee.com. She also recently completed an internship
with Mira Nair, for Nair's film adaptation of Jhumpa Lahiri's "The Namesake."
In addition, she directed and produced a short documentary on American Muslims
titled, "Voices in Islam," which is available to view online at
www.amcnational.org under the 'multimedia' tab.
Muslim Wake Up!
