The arrangement is well formulated. Any local boy or man, who is unemployed,
poor and landless, handicapped, a divorcee or widower, basically anyone who has
a problem getting married locally, procures a girl, usually a minor, from
poverty-stricken districts in other states and "marries" her.
The marriage is dubious as they usually don't have any marriage certificates
and are simply relationships of convenience.
Clearly, all these girls who reach here are being trafficked. The United
Nations Protocol to Prevent, Suppress and Punish Trafficking in Women and
Children defines sex trafficking-a severe form of trafficking-as a commercial
sex act in which the person induced to perform such an act is below 18 years of
age.
Trafficking of women in India is largely for prostitution but a small
percentage of them are also trafficked to live as sexual brides in many regions
of Haryana, Punjab and Himachal Pradesh.
Mewat is one region where it is done on a large scale. "Mewat is the most
backward district in Haryana. The problem (of sexual brides) is really grave
there due a host of factors."
"It's a Muslim-dominated area and has a large population. On an average, every
family has eight to 10 children. It's an archaic society where women have no
say and are confined to their homes. There is very little education in this
region," says Rishi Kant of the non government organisation (NGO) Shaktivahini.
Rewa Nayyar, secretary, Department of Women and Child Welfare, is right when
she says "trafficking is an organised crime involving mafia gangs" but it's
ultimately the local trafficker who does the ground work and is instrumental in
arranging such alliances.
This trafficker could be either a fixer or an agent who is known to both the
sides.
Promising the boy's family to find a suitor for their son, he charges money
from them, keeps the larger part of sum himself and gives a trifling little to
the girl's family in lieu of a "comfortable" future for her.
Or else, there is a local fufi or mausi, herself a paro, married locally many
years ago and who now facilitates such alliances by getting girls from her own
native place in return of a commission.
The trafficker allures the girl and her family and gains their confidence, only
to dump them in an afar village.
Hamida, a frail girl from Assam, is not more than 20, but she is already a
mother of three and is expecting a fourth.
Her husband, Kalam, met her through a distant relative working in Guwahati. He
was a divorcee and "needed a wife".
Married for 10 years now, she was around 13 and he 35 at the time of their
marriage. An unabashed Kalam says, "Why do you inquire about her. Do you want
to take her away? Take her, but leave my children with me."
Kalam makes no bones about the fact that he got a new bride only for
procreation and sexual gratification.
The case of sexual brides is a natural corollary of the socio-economic system
prevailing in the country. Such unions are of mutual convenience. The men are
poor, unemployed, handicapped and cannot get married locally as there are no
girls for them in districts with extremely skewed male-female ratios.
Desperate to get girls, they want no dowry and are instead willing to pay the
girls' family. The girls are illiterate; their families impoverished due to
droughts, famines or cyclones and incapable of offering dowries demanded by
boys of their area. So it's a symbiotic relationship.
The men get girls to carry their family name forward and the girl's family is
relieved of the burden of dowry.
"No one was willing to marry me in Hyderabad. My parents were poor and were in
no position to pay any dowry. That's why they got me married to Aslam from
Mewat as he disn't ask for anything and rather paid them a good sum of Rs
300-400," says Medina, who was married to Aslam of Kherala village 25 years
ago.
All these paros come for a price that is cheaper than cattle. Some of these
Paros have been married to Mewati men for a long time. But at the time of their
marriage, they were all minors.
Like in case of Medina whose "husband" was 40 when she was 12 or 13. Today
these women are "happy and settled" and even go to meet their families back in
their native districts.
After 10-15 years of marriage, they have no other option but to reconcile and
continue existing, if not living. Most of them have forgotten their language,
speak the local dialect and have altered their food habits.
Initially, however, adjusting to an entirely new locale was not easy. They had
to communicate through sign language and were ill-treated by family members and
neighbours.
Several cases of reselling are also coming to the fore. "At times, if a man who
gets a paro is not 'satisfied' by her, he sells her again or passes her on to
her kinfolk." says a villager from Sudaka.
In addition to this, the victims are subject to mental and physical violence
and are exposed to all kinds of diseases, including Sexually Transmitted
Infections and HIV/AIDS. Trafficking in all its forms violates the universal
human right to life and liberty.
Police authorities, however, look askance at this problem. SSP, Gurgaon,
Yoginder Singh Nehra is not even aware of the concept of paros. "Since my
joining in March, we've had no cases of trafficking. There may be cases of
harassment because of dowry, but nothing more than that," he says. Deputy SHO,
Nuh, Devinder Singh reiterates "never having heard of such a problem".
His juniors, residing in the village, however admit of this menace. Dharam
Singh, assistant sub inspector, says, "We do have a lot of paros in this region
and they come from all areas. Some run away and come, some are sold off by
their families and are brought against their will. But what do we do? Even if
we are aware of this social malpractice, we can't do anything, as there's no
complaint lodged with the police. How can we take action unless an FIR is
filed? There has never been a complaint in this regard."
And there lies the problem. It is believed that 85 per cent of these girls come
willingly. What can be done in that case? Since trafficking has a
socio-economic connotation, the government, civil society and NGOs need to
combat it collectively.
The latest US' report on trafficking in persons ranks India in the Tier 2
Watchlist, a position that if not improved can provoke the US to impose
sanctions on India. Maybe only a sanction will shake the government out of its
slumber to react to this growing nuisance.
