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Crossing sexual boundaries in Nepal
By Charles Haviland
January 27, 2005
"When I was about 13, it came from my heart and soul, the feeling that I was
different from others," says Manisha, who has the body of a man but wants to be
a woman - and likes to be described as a woman.
Manisha, now 24, is what is known in Kathmandu as a "meti" or a transgender
person.
"Up to the age of 18 I thought I was the only person like that in the world. I
was very depressed."
That changed when Manisha began meeting similar people in the parks of the
Nepalese capital.
It changed even more in 2001 with the founding of the Blue Diamond Society
(BDS), Nepal's only organisation for sexual minorities.
The BDS has just launched a weekly newspaper, with editions in English and
Nepali.
The Blue Diamond Weekly will give a platform to many marginalised groups in
Nepal, but seems likely to be dominated by issues affecting gay and bisexual
Nepalese and the significant number who call themselves "meti" and dress up in
women's clothes.
An autobiographical article by Manisha filled page three of the first edition.
Manisha now works full-time for BDS, which among other things promotes Aids
awareness and condom usage among vulnerable groups.
BDS's founder and director, 32-year-old Sunil Pant, explored his own sexuality
while studying in Belarus.
Complex attitudes
Returning from overseas, he wanted to discover more about Nepal's gay culture.
In Kathmandu he was surprised at the number of "MSMs" - men who have sex with
men. Some identified as homosexual but many others did not, for instance those
choosing metis as partners.
"The scary thing was the lack of knowledge on HIV-Aids, the low level of condom
usage," he says.
Rectifying this was his main motivation for starting the Blue Diamond Society -
blue being a "gay colour" in Belarus, the diamond symbolising compassion in
Buddhism, one of Nepal's two main religions.
Nepalese attitudes to sexual diversity are complex.
Sunil says most Nepalese - especially Buddhists - are tolerant in this regard.
The Gurung people of western Nepal have a tradition of men called maarunis, who
dance in female clothes.
The tradition, he says, is also popular in the Royal Nepalese Army.
"Maarunis are recruited to perform dances to entertain within the barracks," he
says, adding that they have traditionally had a role in the royal palaces too.
"Whenever a general or minister or high-ranking officer has to go out, there
will be two maarunis with a jug of water, flowers, and a maaruni standing at
the gate for their good luck."
But Sunil says there is hostility, for instance from those he describes as
fundamentalist Hindus.
And when metis try to claim equal rights, acceptance wanes and may give way to
violence. Some have been subjected to attempted murder; others, he says, to
rape and arbitrary arrest.
Still taboo
More encouragingly, after a 2003 meeting between metis, gay men and police
authorities, the Inspector-General of Police issued a letter to all police
stations indicating concern at the level of such police violence.
Sunil Pant admits that BDS tends to be seen as a meti organisation. He believes
Nepalese men identifying themselves as gay are less disadvantaged, tending to
have a better education and a secure job.
But others point out that they still face considerable problems.
"Though homosexuality definitely exists in Nepalese society, it is still not
accepted," says renowned film director Tulsi Ghimire, writing in the new
weekly.
While neighbouring India is opening up on the subject, in Nepal it is still
taboo.
He dare not touch it on screen.
Prakash, a bisexual who works with BDS, agrees that attitudes to homosexuality
are "not encouraging".
He was happy to have an arranged marriage last year but regrets he cannot tell
his wife all about his sexuality.
With marriage a social obligation, many metis and homosexuals do wed, but
others - with great difficulty - tell their families they cannot.
Manisha, who lives with her parents, says she is preparing to do this, as she
does not want to "spoil anyone's life" by marrying.
The Blue Diamond Society has unquestionably raised the profile of these
minorities in Kathmandu. Its three-storey office is well-known in the
neighbourhood and the Society stages parades during religious festivals.
And when Manisha and a friend pose for the BBC in female clothes on the
building's rooftop, builders next door scarcely bat an eyelid.
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First
gay weekly to be launched in Nepal
1-2-2005
Lesbianism?
Still taboo in Nepal
12-06-2003
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