Now renamed Negar, she says she would not have had the operation if she did not
live in Iran.
"If I didn't have to operate, I wouldn't do it. I wouldn't touch God's work."
But as Ali, he felt he had no identity.
He could not work with men because they sexually harassed him and made fun of
him. But he could not work with women because he was not officially a woman.
"I am Iranian. I want to live here and this society tells you: you have to be
either a man or a woman".
"Diagnosed transsexuals"
Sex changes have been legal in Iran since Ayatollah Khomeini, the spiritual
leader of the 1979 Islamic revolution, passed a fatwa - a religious edict -
authorising them for "diagnosed transsexuals" 25 years ago.
Today, Iran carries out more sex change operations than any other nation in the
world except for Thailand.
The government even provides up to half the cost for those needing financial
assistance and a sex change is recognised on your birth certificate.
"Islam has a cure for people suffering from this problem. If they want to
change their gender, the path is open," says Hojatol Islam Muhammad Mehdi
Kariminia, the religious cleric responsible for gender reassignment.
He says an operation is no more a sin than "changing wheat to flour to bread".
Yet homosexuality is still punishable by death.
"The discussion is fundamentally separate from a discussion regarding
homosexuals. Absolutely not related. Homosexuals are doing something unnatural
and against religion," says Kariminia. "It is clearly stated in our Islamic law
that such behaviour is not allowed because it disrupts the social order."
Sex change surgery
Dr Mir-Jalali, a Paris-trained surgeon, is Iran's leading specialist in sex
change surgery.
He claims to have performed over 450 operations in the last 12 years.
Many of his patients are struggling to figure out what to do because they do
not fit into the norm. They see Dr Mir-Jalali as a saviour.
"Transsexuals feel that their body doesn't match how they feel," he says.
"Whatever you do, psychiatrists, pills, prison, punishment, nothing helps".
Another of his patients, Anoosh, 21, was deeply unhappy before surgery and felt
pressured to leave school because of his feminine behaviour and appearance.
"I wanted to live like everyone else, like all the other boys and girls walking
around. My goal was simply to find my own identity."
Like many young people in Iran, Anoosh struggled to reconcile his sexual
identity with the wishes of family, community and culture. He says he was
continuously harassed and threatened with arrest by Iran's morality police
before he had his sex change.
His boyfriend was also keen for him to go ahead with the sex change because 90%
of the people they passed in the street said something nasty.
"When he goes out in female clothes and has a female appearance it is easier
for me to persuade myself that he is a girl. It makes the relationship better,"
he says.
For Anoosh's younger brother, Ali Reza, it was harder to come to terms with
Anoosh's desire to become a woman.
"I have had a brother for many years. I can't just suddenly accept him as my
sister. If I refer to him as my brother he gets upset. But it's hard for me to
believe this".
Anoosh's mother, Shahin, raised her children alone and had high hopes for her
son.
"My child was meant to be the star of the family. I counted on him to be
something other than this".
Avoiding shame
Documentary film maker Tanaz Eshaghian spent weeks filming Anoosh, Ali and
other transsexuals in Iran. She thinks that part of what is driving many of the
boys to operate is the desire to avoid shame.
"If you are a male with female tendencies, they don't see that as something
natural or genetic. They see it as someone who is consciously acting dirty."
Being diagnosed as a transsexual makes it a medical condition, not a moral one.
Once a doctor has made a diagnosis - and an operation is in the pipeline - the
transsexual can get official permission from his local government official to
cross-dress in public.
"They look for a solution that will at least allow them to be attracted to the
gender they are naturally attracted to - without feelings of shame, sin and
wrong-doing - and move around in society without harassment. The price is often
being disowned by your family," says Tanaz Eshaghian.
After surgery
Ali Askar - now renamed Negar and aged 27 - said that after the sex change
operation she was initially depressed.
"But now, it's like I have been born again and I am in a new world."
But her family's reaction has taken its toll. Although they warned her she
would be disowned, she thought that they would change their mind after the
operation.
"They pray for me to die soon. If I'd known that my family would truly shun me
like this, I would never have done it."
She now lives with other transsexuals who have had a sex change. She has had to
work as a prostitute to make ends meet.
Rejection by her parents has affected her deeply: "When parents can kill the
love for their own child inside themselves, I have killed love in my being. I
will never fall in love".
But for Anoosh - who has changed her name to Anahita - there is a more positive
outcome.
"Now when someone is attracted to me, it is as a girl," she says.
She is now engaged to her boyfriend and even her mother is happy.
"A boy will always just get married and leave his mum, but a girl stays, a girl
is always yours and will never leave, and now I will never experience the
sadness that occurs when a boy leaves.
"I always wanted a daughter and I think it's a gift from God that I finally got
one."
BBC News
