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Sex-starved Japanese wives get men on prescription
By Eric Prideaux
December 12, 2004
Champions of conventional concepts of matrimony may well be shocked --
dismayed, even -- by the current slew of stories in Japanese magazines
detailing just how likely the nation's married women are to have sex outside
their marriages.
"Get over it," says Myongan Kim, founder of the sex-therapy clinic Sei, which
is Japanese for "sex." Kim, who is also an academic authority on sexual
behavior, believes that any man who won't give his wife a backrub every now and
then, or hold her hand, or tell her she's beautiful -- let alone make love with
her -- doesn't deserve her loyalty anyhow.
So, in stark contrast to medically based sex counselors, who tend to prescribe
anti-depressants or sleeping pills to ease the effects of sexlessness, Kim
prescribes . . . men.
Kim has a stable of 30 "volunteer" males, aged 28 to 60, who perform
"rehabilitation sex" with women clients who he believes have absolutely no
chance of scoring at home.
Kim says that his volunteers must pass HIV screening and promise to use
condoms. Four out of five of the men are themselves married, but only half are
sexless.
The men are not paid, a criterion that apparently keeps the whole thing legal.
(Women and the volunteers split the bill for a romantic meal and take the rest
from there.)
Affection-starved wives, says Kim, "come back to life."
Happy to hear it. But is this fair to the volunteers' wives?
"If we worried about that, nothing would ever get solved. This world would be
the exclusive domain of singles," he retorts. Kim, who was born in Kobe to
South Korean parents, adds that as a subscriber to Buddhism, Taoism and Shinto
-- rather than Christianity or Islam -- he feels little compunction about
chipping away at the institution of marriage in Japan.
OK, but do the husbands deserve no sympathy at all?
Forget about it. "Women whose husbands adamantly refuse to be affectionate
shouldn't be married to them in the first place," he declares.
After all, he says, there are women who can't divorce due to economic
dependency or a lack of self-esteem.
So a volunteer is "the only salvation."
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Sex-deprived
Japanese women find help in squad of volunteers
11-8-2004
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